GROWING IN SOCIAL GRACES

How do you handle yourself at formal galas and awards presentations? Are you comfortable making small talk with strangers? Do you use good table manners whether you're eating in the company cafeteria, at a lunch meeting in a conference room, at your desk or in a white-tablecloth setting?

And, more importantly, when it comes to being an effective leader, does any of this even matter?

"At-work expert" Liz Ryan thinks it matters—a lot. In a recent "Business Week" article, she explains why leaders should not only be aware of their "etiquette quotient," but also be looking to increase it if necessary.

"You may not care about these seemingly small things, but other people do," she writes. "Other people such as hiring managers."

Ryan has found that many professionals don't consider "making nice" with others to be part of their job descriptions. But as they move up in their companies—into management roles or positions with greater outside interaction—"their social ineptitude inevitably penalizes them," she says.

If you're not sure how you measure up when it comes to social graces, Ryan has a solution. "Identify the most polished person in your office and ask him or her to lunch or coffee," she says. Tell that person how much you admire his or her style and manners. Then ask for an honest evaluation of your own manners.

"Say, 'I think I do OK, but I could use some tips.'" Ryan writes. "'Do you have any suggestions for me on what to start doing, or not to do?'"

Such conversations might not be easy, but the input you receive—and the subsequent changes you make—could have a tremendous impact on your ability to advance as a leader.

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