A young man once asked me a very provocative question at one of my leadership conferences. He'd been listening intently all day, and it was obvious that the subjects we were covering were really striking a chord with him.

"I've decided I want to be a leader," he said. "Who do I start leading?"

As I said, this guy was young—he didn't have a company or even a department to run, yet. I could have advised him to read some of my books, get a job managing a few people, and come back to another conference in five years when he had some experience. But I didn't.

"That's an easy answer," I told him. "Start with yourself."

I wasn't trying to be cute with that response; I was completely serious. If you want to start leading, you must always start with yourself, because if you wouldn't follow yourself, why should anybody else? Becoming the person others want to follow might involve honing certain technical competencies, learning how to be a better motivator, sharpening your ability to cast a vision, identifying your core values, or polishing your organizational skills. But here's the key: The secret to your success doesn't lie in the specifics; it lies in your willingness to start.

Just how essential is starting? Let me describe it this way. Starting is the great separator. It separates the doers from the do nots. It separates the haves from the have nots. It separates the winners from the whiners. In short, it separates successful people from unsuccessful people.

I've always said the bookends of success are starting and finishing. People who achieve great things must possess both the ability to begin—to be a self-initiator, and the ability to close—to be able to finish well. In the grand scheme of things, both are equally important. But you can't end well if you don't start. So for the next several issues of "Leadership Wired," we'll talk about how to start successfully.

The first step, as we've already discussed, is to start with yourself. Why is this so important? Here are three reasons.

1. It gives you experience, confidence, integrity, and influence.
Leaders are either travel agents or tour guides. Leaders who are like travel agents send people to places they've never been themselves, while leaders who are like tour guides take their people to places they know well. Instead of saying, "Here's a map—I hope it's accurate," tour-guide leaders can say, "I've been here many times; I know the best way to get around; follow me." Starting with yourself equips you with the experience, confidence, integrity, and influence you need to be a tour-guide leader.

2. You are with yourself more than anyone else.
You may have had trouble finding another leader to mentor you because everyone else is so crunched for time. But you can't use that excuse with yourself—you spend more time with yourself more than anyone else. So don't sit around waiting for someone else to help you—start learning and growing yourself!

3. Start with yourself to give something to others.
At first blush, starting with yourself might sound a bit selfish. But, as anyone who has ever listened to a flight attendant give pre-flight safety instructions can attest, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. You can't export what you don't have. You can't teach what you haven't learned. Starting with yourself isn't putting yourself before others. It's putting yourself in a position where you can give—of your time, your encouragement, your resources, your expertise, etc.—more effectively.

In the next issue of Leadership Wired, we'll talk about the value of starting early. Until then, I'll leave you with this bit of advice from the great revolutionary leader
M.K. Gandhi: "Be the change you want to see in the world."

How do you do that? The answer is simple. Start with yourself.